Arrogant worms, friendly mosquitoes
News
Posted By Charlie Teljeur
Posted 2 months ago
I saw something really strange the other day as I prepared to cut the grass at the driving range where I work. There was this worm just lying there on the short putting green grass. No other creatures around. Just one solitary worm.
That got me to thinking, why is he here? Where are the others? What kind of arrogant worm travels alone?
That got me to thinking that maybe he was out partying late last night (one would think worms have the ability to celebrate) and is lazily staggering home.
That got me to thinking that maybe I was seeing this all wrong. Maybe this worm had been banished from the underworld for some wretched treasonous activity. Maybe this was some form of worm punishment.
That got me to thinking that maybe I should help this worm. Aside from the fact I might mistakenly puree him with the mower he'd also have to avoid hungry birds (namely robins who are notorious for this sort of thing) and the subsequent rising heat of the day.
That got me to thinking that he isn't really a he after all. I remember from some archaic part of my brain that earth worms are evidently hermaphrodites (they have both uh, hot and cold running water, for those unfamiliar with the term). That got me to thinking I should stop referring to him as a him.
That got me to thinking how we humans know these sorts of things, which got me to thinking about how we really don't know these facts are actually true.
That got me to thinking about how arrogant we are towards things in the animal world (because of supposedly superior brain) and why it's considered to be true simply because we say it's true.
That got me to thinking about animal mating patterns and how we claim to know everything about their romantic lifestyles just because we have some video evidence of two turtles engaged in a mating dance.
That got me to thinking that maybe mosquitoes don't hate us after all, just that perhaps sticking their noses into our forearms is their way of saying hi. That got me thinking that killing something simply for saying hi is not a great foundation for a relationship.
That got me thinking that it was getting very hot very quickly. That got me to thinking maybe I should get back to helping that worm. That got me to thinking I really should have done something about this a lot sooner.
That got me thinking that maybe I should get back to work.
