The lake feels different through a bathing suit. Not sure why. It just does. So when you decide that you really don’t want to pull on that wet suit for your pre-bedtime swim, you are treating yourself to one of summer’s simple pleasures. Whether you call it skinny-dipping or chunky-dunking, it will free you from all life’s burdens. It is 50 shades of sensuous. And you will get that super great, “I just got away with something illegal” feeling. Yes, public bathing in the nude is against the law, so don’t get caught.
Here’s how you go about it.
1. Wait until the sun goes down. If you cannot wait, do a thorough check of the shoreline for incoming canoes.
2. Wrap a generous-sized towel around yourself.
3. Quietly go to the water’s edge. Skinny-dipping is silent and stealthy. If you alert your binocular-toting neighbour in any way, your dip may be misinterpreted as exhibitionism.
4. Toss your towel and slip in. Fast. Maximum time lapse? .3 seconds. (This cuts down on the time you have to politely avert your eyes from accompanying dippers.)
5. Nirvana. Dark water is softer and smoother than daytime water. It feels like you are gliding through yogurt.
6. Get your hair wet. It won’t look pretty in the morning, but your damp head will keep you cool all night.
7. Prepare an exit plan. Slippery rocks and slivers from the dock can decrease the pleasurable aspects of your experience.
8. Sleep like a baby. Research shows that skinny dippers live longer, healthier lives than any other segment of the population.